help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
