you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
