i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
