Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Please don't give away my fajitas
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
