Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
