The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
