and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
What drink are we having for lunch?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
