one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
