Don't you send me to vm
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
