apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
