we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
