Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
