I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
