Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Everyone says I win the strip club
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
did you just send me my own nude
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
