it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
