He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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