ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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