if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
someone owes me an orgasm
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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