Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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