We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
