You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
only if we run a train.
done.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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