Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Two words: nipple clamps
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