Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize