you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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