K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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