no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
