How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
