clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
