What did we do last night that was yellow?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
