I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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