his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
