??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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