Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
