i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
