I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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