I wannas sexs uuuuu
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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