Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
