and you said cock pushups were impossible
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
