I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
