omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
