I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
