Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
