the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
