So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
