Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
