I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
