I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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