Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
