she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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