I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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