I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Randomize
