ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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