Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
