I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
