That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
