so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
