I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
