when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
