can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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